you said

you said i was wise
beyond the years i've been
standing around on this earth

you said tell me who you love
and i'll tell you who you are

you said don't look at me, melt me like that
you said just drive
you said no woman had ever gotten away
with speaking to you like that
since the first girl you loved
(who later broke your heart)

and secretly inside, my jaw dropped cuz that
was when i first knew you had indeed
fallen
(on the outside i was the epitomy of cool
the girl no one knew could GET heartbroken)

and now, i've been standing around
walking around
with my hair in my face
covering my eyes
hiding my heart
since the moment you left
missing your voice and your laugh
your sarcasm and analogies
your stories and opinions

your every move and look
in my direction

i pushed you away
and you pushed back my hair
saw straight thru to my heart
and pushed my heart away
and i'm still standing
and walking all over this earth
with my hair in my face
and my heart safely covered
and concealed
and here i am...

you said this would happen
if i kept building my walls
yeah, here i am...so guarded

and so alone

Stumble It!

back to me

asleep in my bed
struggling hard in my heart and my head
forcing the brakes and the breaks
on us
self-destructive thoughts and panic shakes
what to do
how to be
everything complicating
you and me
wanting to just spin around
smack back to the beginning
what we found
so easily
now comes not so
pushing you away
flipping over onto my side
away from you
i go
missing you before i'm gone
yes feeling trapped and scared
tied to you
but wanting no one but you
lost confused
wanting to bolt
from the comfiness
go back to your house
where things were so light
and real life issues
never played a part
i'm not good at this
love thing
been alone for so long
unhealthy patterns
already creeping up
making me want to scream
needing more
taking less
insanity overtaking me once again
not understanding
why you don't give me what i need
so fast not anymore
i already need more than you can give
are you enough for me?
are we enough
scared that we're settling
into routine and too comfy
too fast
so scared
soooo scared
to lose the intensity
you still don't reach for me
the way that you did
and so i pull back
out of your reach before you come to me
smashed back to reality
as i sleep but not dream
write but not say a damn thing

Stumble It!