strange ways...

In June of 1998...i was 8 months pregnant with my son and was incapable of making it to the infamous Mahoning Valley Rib Burn-Off...and this is what i missed...




...and this is what that cutie lead singer of 10 years ago is up to these days--besides being my awesome boyfriend *smiling* :

Stumble It!

halloween girl

sadness seeps
the confusion is free
as she realizes
why she has to obsess
digress, constantly seek and think too deep
and then she resents

her motive so clear now
she's just struggling to close that big gap
--but he takes a wider stance
away from her now--
he no longer sees
she clings to, holds on to
something
anything
to keep her connection

his secret
her obsession
attaching her heart to it
the only way she feels tight
and close to him now

lost all that she was
all that she could've been
when he lost his
naive little starstruck
halloween girl

she looks at you
from outside of herself
running and seeking
trying to find a way out of her disguise
she wants you to feel like home

when she looks in your eyes
when she feels your strong, soothing hands
she still knows
that she's so far away
knowing what she knows

and she's been so unfair to him now, for too long
but her selfish desires and fears
they combat his lies and resent his honest eyes
and mess with her only intention...to love
with her eyes on the prize

so she's all alone
--a fallen angel, broken wings--
on a stranger's front porch, looking in
arms outstretched, wanting to come in

the emptiness
it swallows her whole

hanging right between her and him
between every feeling and thought
in her heart and her mind

she longs to be that girl
that other girl
perched on the porch
with a trick and a treat

full of bliss, ignorance at its best
no costume to hide behind

...so free to fly

Stumble It!

g-spot

i somehow lost my spine
swallowed much too much
melting into a twisted, salacious vine

my backbone

---slowly fused to the depths
of some G-spot in my throat,
swallowing much too much---

lays in a yard somewhere
between here and him and alone

Stumble It!